


Painted-On Smile

by ProspertheXVIII



Category: RuPaul's Drag Race RPF
Genre: Friendship, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, character injury
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-26
Updated: 2018-02-26
Packaged: 2019-03-24 12:31:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,986
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13811229
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ProspertheXVIII/pseuds/ProspertheXVIII
Summary: A mishap at a show leaves Dela’s future as a queen hanging the balance. Thankfully, Jinkx is on hand to provide cuddles and a shoulder to cry on.





	Painted-On Smile

**Author's Note:**

> Based on this Tumblr anon message:  
> "I was thinking Dela/Jinx, something about Dela’s depression and Jinx comforting her I think that would be adorableee"
> 
> I blended the idea with this prompt from Artificialqueens on Tumblr:
> 
> http://artificialqueens.tumblr.com/post/170418341954/id-fucking-love-to-see-some-cute-delajinkx-where 
> 
> and got something that’s definitely a little more than a drabble, but I like it.
> 
> I just want to add a quick disclaimer and say this: Dela has spoken quite openly about her past struggles, what her relationship with drag is, and how it has helped her mental health. Whilst we do know some of her feelings on the subject, this story is simply researched fiction and as such is ENTIRELY FICTIONALISED and does not pretend nor claim to know the inner workings of anybody’s mind or their personal emotional story. Just letting ya know. 
> 
> Also context to the tour thing that this is set on - totally fictional. I happened to use a lot of the AS3 queens, but it’s basically the Haters Roast lineup but with Dela. Not based on any real events.

_ Baby saw the day they pulled the big top down.  _ _   
_ _ They left behind her dreams among the litter.  
_ _ And the different kind of love she thought she'd found  
_ __ Was nothing more than sawdust and some glitter. 

 

* * *

 

  
“Oh god - Dela, not to freak you out, but that looks really, _really_ bad.” Dela could only grit her teeth through the pain as Thorgy spoke; struggling to find the energy to tell her to shut up. Or the words, for that matter - she could hardly think for the pulsing agony in her knee, forget about speak.   
  
“Cool, Thorgy - because that’s the best thing you could have said to not freak her out.” Ever curtly rational, Trixie was crouched on the floor by Dela’s side, gripping her hand as she sat up on one elbow. Jinkx was currently onstage; Dela had been waiting in the wings for the end of her number; floaty feathered robe and nipple tassels aplenty. That was, until she’d tripped over on the curtain - her leg had gone one way, she’d gone the other, and now there she was on the floor with a small congregation of queens gathered around her, aiding and annoying.    
  
“I’m fine - somebody help me up.” Dela murmured through gritted teeth, trying to push against Trixie’s hand. 

“No you aren’t, stay there.” Aja pursed her lips. “Shit sis, what do we do?”

“You’re asking me?”  
  
“I was just putting it to the group.” She shrugged. 

“Well, I don’t know what we’re gonna do, but Dela, your kneecap is on the side of your leg right now, so I-“

“You’re really not doing a great job of this ‘keeping everyone calm’ thing, are you Thorgy?” Trixie half-laughed.

“Is it really that bad?” Dela looked up at her, worry painted across her face.

Trixie paused, trying to find some way to mince her words into something less disquieting; eventually giving up. “...Yeah.”

Dela put her head in her hands, groaning. Fuck, this hurt. She was unable to keep the panicking thought out of her head that she’d properly damaged herself, and the fact that a part of her body has essentially taken it upon itself to change location entirely basically solidified this knowledge.

“Should we call an ambulance or some shit?” Aja was hovering about somewhere in between Trixie and Thorgy, who was cross-legged at Dela’s feet; awkwardly shuffling from one stiletto-shod foot to the other.

“Maybe check with the promoter or something first?” Thorgy offered.

Trixie shook her head. “Nah - people would freak out and then there’d be Twitter rumours that we’d all died by the morning. Do you think you can hang on til the show’s over? It’s only a couple hours at most.”

“Probably.” Dela grit her teeth, trying to will away the rising fear in her chest, her heart pummeling against her ribs as the pain started to kick her adrenaline into action.

“Nice going, sis.” Aja gave something of a smile, rolling her eyes. “Y’know, when people say ‘break a leg’ that doesn’t mean you gotta take it literally.”

 

* * *

 

The redhead stepped off of the stage and into the wings amid the cheering and applause of the fans filling the seats; a breezy smile on her face as she sighed, stretching her shoulders and murmuring to herself, catlike. Other Drag Race alumni, all in various states of dress, undress, and sobriety wandered this way and that in the guts of the tiny theatre. The crowd was screaming  in adoration once more, and Jinkx could hear the voice amplified by the microphone greeting them. Wait - wasn’t Dela supposed to be following her? And unless Dela had suddenly started speaking an octave lower than usual and acquired a lisp, that wasn’t her on the stage. Weird. Obviously the running order changed during a show occasionally, but usually that had something to do with Max taking years to put her face on. Not terribly in character for Dela.  
  
Stopping the first girl to walk her way, Jinkx reached a hand out for Shangela as the shorter queen walked along whilst contouring her tits; stage-ready from the neck up, but still in her PJs below that.   
  
“Uh, Shangie - did they change the running order last-minute? Where’s Dela.”   
  
She grimaced. “Ooh girl - you not heard yet?” 

“Heard about what?” Jinkx cocked her head to one side, confused and somewhat concerned as Shangela pulled a face, placing a hand on her shoulder. She didn’t want to look too desperate; too clingy. After all, since the Ivy debacle the last thing she needed was to be known for pining over yet another one of her sisters. But still - Dela was her sister, and not in the cringeworthily superficial way that she used the term in reference to some of the others. And to say that she was getting concerned was something of an understatement. 

“Shit. Yeah, uh - so, Miss Bendela took a li’l tumble when she was getting ready, and to make a long fuckin story short, last time I saw, her knee was totally busted. I think she’s camped out in one of the dressing rooms somewhere, but there ain’t no way in hell she’s doing any shows like that.” Shangela grit her teeth, Jinkx’s mouth hanging ajar as she took it in - for some reason having to force herself not to panic. “You okay, Jinkx?”

“Fine.” She gave a small smile, grasping Shangela’s hand briefly. 

“She’s okay, Miss Thing.” Shangela put a reassuring hand on Jinkx’s shoulder. “I mean, she ain’t gonna be much use at dancing for a while, but she’ll live. The other girls managed to pick her up and move her without her screaming or whatever, so I’m sure she’ll be okay. Now give us a smile, and then go find her. You’re gonna be no damn help to her all mopey.” Jinkx couldn’t help but laugh a little at this. “You did good out there by the way, baby.” She smiled, before walking away with a tiny bounce to her step, earphones in.

Okay, well, question answered. Jinkx couldn’t help but feel a little twinge of panic rise to her throat, but she suppressed it. She was probably fine. Heavy emphasis on the probably. 

* * *

 

“Hey there, sweetie.” Dela was sitting up with her legs outstretched across the white couch in the corner of the dressing room; looking beyond miserable. She briefly glanced up as Jinkx entered the room.

“Hi, Jinkx.” Her voice was flat and morose - that high-pitched, disgustingly delightful Dela lilt gone entirely from her tone.

“You doing okay, baby?”

“Not really.” Dela huffed a sigh, a small frown on her lips as Jinkx sat down on the floor, resting her head in the crook of Dela’s arm. The injured queen gave a tight-lipped smile, stroking Jinkx’s hair back from her face lethargically - staring blankly at the opposite wall. 

“At least you’re being honest.” She spoke quietly, reaching for Dela’s hand and holding it gently; Dela grasping her fingers to stop her from pulling away as she tried to move. “How’s it feeling?”

“Fine - I’ve had two shots of vodka and some Xanax - so if it hurts, I don’t think I really know about it.” She paused, before giving a wan smile and snorting a small, restrained laugh. “Mind you, I did get the Xanax from Thorgy, so it pretty much could have been anything.”

The look on Dela’s face was still drawn as she sat with her legs extended on the couch. She had her knee resting on an ice pack; another one atop her leg, held in place by her manicured hand, obscuring the damage as well as trying to soothe the pain. Even so, the purplish hue of a deep bruise had already spread up and down her leg, the area surrounding her injury swollen and painful-looking. She was half-dressed - her hairpiece abandoned on the floor, natural hair falling into her face; her shoes and tights had been taken off, and she sat in her panties and corsetry, as slouched as the garment would allow with a face like a wet weekend. Her makeup was tear-smudged and her lipstick half-gone, mostly transferred onto the glass that sat on the wooden floor beside her. Possibly water - probably more vodka if Thorgy had adopted the role of primary first-aider. It was proof enough that the bitch was hopeless in a medical crisis that she had gone onstage high as a kite with a half-broken back; so if that was what she was going to subject  _ herself _ to, then heaven knows that it was a miracle that Dela had wound up somewhere sensible.   
  
“I mean, you’re not in pain, that’s something.” Jinkx squeezed her hand, trying to inject some morale back into the usually lively queen. “I take it the vodka was Thorgy’s doing too?” Dela nodded at this. “Figures - why are alcohol and unidentified meds her answer to everything?” 

“Damned if I know.” She tried to readjust her seated position, squirming uncomfortably before slumping back again with a sigh. 

“Come on - what’s eating you, sweetheart? You’re the worst liar I know and this time you’re not even trying to lie to me about whether or not you’re okay. Spill.” Jinkx looked up at her; Dela avoiding eye contact with her entirely.   
  
“I...I dunno, Jinkxy. I guess I’m just kinda sad about missing the show or something. And pulling out of the tour or whatever - I don’t want to disappoint people, so...”    
  


“So what? Dela, you nearly broke your leg for god’s sake, I’m sure they’ll understand.”

“I don’t know that it  _ isn’t _ broken, and that’s kinda scaring me too.” She sighed, before turning to Jinkx with a sort of weird, panicking desperation on her face and wet eyes. “Jinkx, what if it’s really bad? What if I can’t perform any more?” 

“Don’t be silly.” Jinkx sat up, putting an arm around Dela. “Listen, Dela - I’m sure you’re fine. I think if this was gonna be career-ending you’d know about it by now. Usually there’s more blood or screaming if it’s really awful. I know it seems shitty, but it’s not gonna be this shit for long. You’ll know before the night’s out if you-“   
  


“I don’t know if I want to know.” Dela pursed her lips, her voice stretched and painful as she tried to speak whilst fighting back tears. “I...Jinkx, I don’t know what I’d do. I mean, god - I’ve always said that Dela is the happy part of me. Terminally fucking delightful or whatever. If I’m hurt really badly and I have to quit forever, I’m not just losing fans or a career or a brand, I’m losing...her. And if I don’t have Dela, I...I don’t know whether or not Ben could cope.” The tears were dripping down her face now, and Jinkx reached a gentle hand up to wipe them away, stroking her cheek lightly. “I just...She was what got me through some of my worst spells, and I couldn’t handle being fucking sad all the time if I didn’t have her.”    
  


“Dela...”  
  
“I know it sounds stupid. I know it sounds crazy. I just...It happens to people all the time. They fall the wrong way, twist a leg the wrong way, and then they can’t dance anymore. If I can’t dance then I can’t perform, and no performing kinda means...no Dela.” She was restraining herself from sobbing now, clinging desperately to Jinkx’s hand. Jinkx pursed her lips, stroking her hair back from her face; Dela collapsing into tears in her hands. Jinkx got up at this, perching on the edge of the couch as the other queen cried; not hysterical, but resigned and miserable. 

“Hey, hey...shush, baby. It’s okay.” She put her arms around her, holding her close to her own body and feeling how tense she was. “Listen, Ben - do you really think that you’re not gonna be able to be happy, at all, ever again without Dela?” She had boy-named her without even thinking about it; Dela’s face seemed to falter even more at this. 

“I don’t wanna think about it.” She sighed, her voice wavering and lip trembling. “I...Dela’s a part of me. I kinda...raised her, into this person that’s always been there to have my back. Not like an imaginary friend, but like...I don’t know. If Ben was having a shitty day, then Dela was always there to remind him that it’s not the end of the world, y’know? And I could kinda just paint on this smile and become this other person, and...none of it mattered. She’s more than just my drag character, and I...I don’t know if I could cope without her.” 

Jinkx only sighed as she tried to think of what to say; resting her head on Dela’s shoulder as she wiped away her tears and ruined makeup with the heel of her hand; drained and miserable. 

“Listen, Ben- Dela - whatever. It doesn’t matter. If you can’t keep going like you always have - which isn’t gonna happen tonight, because you’re alright - but if one day it does, then you’ll find ways around it. You’re always gonna find a way to keep doing this if you really love it. Shit, look at Bianca - she’s so old she’s basically dead, and she’s still going.” This elicited the tiniest of smiles from her. “Whatever happens, the show must go on, right? So if we’re propping you up on a Barbie doll stand or you wind up throwing your bras into the crowd from a wheelchair, then that’s just how it goes. It only has to be the end of the world if you let it be the end of the goddamn world. Okay?” She pressed a soft lipsticked kiss to the other’s cheek, holding her close. 

“...How do you always know what to say?” Dela sighed softly, holding Jinkx’s hand. 

“I dunno, I guess some of us are just gifted.” Jinkx stood up, before walking towards the door.

“Wait, where are you going?” 

“Well, they say the show ain’t over til the fat lady sings, but I’ve done my number already, so I’m gonna say that the show ain’t over until you’ve shown that crowd your boobs. I went into about every closet in this place looking for the bathroom earlier, and I swear one of em had a wheelchair in it-”

Dela looked at her incredulously. “Jinkx, have you gone crazy?”

“Not any crazier than I usually am - come on, give the people what they want. Your fans are all gonna go home and cry themselves to sleep tonight if they don’t see you, and it’ll be all your fault.” Jinkx raised a rebellious eyebrow. 

“No. Not on your life.”   


“Come on, we’re being proactive here.”

“No we’re not; besides, it might be broken or something, we might just make it worse, and believe me I need that like I need a hole in the tit.” 

“Live dangerously for a sec, Dela. You’ll be okay - remember? It’s fine.”

“I hate you.” 

* * *

 

“God, people are really living for last night, boo.” Jay glanced up from his phone, a smile on his face as he scrolled through his Instagram feed. They were on the move again; the cohort of queens sprawled across every available item of furniture in the bus, all exhausted and half-dressed; Jay in a unicorn onesie and flip-flops, lilac hair still in chaos between wig caps and bedheads.

“I’m not - everything hurts and I’m exhausted.” Ben groaned with a vague smile on his face, lifting his glasses to rub his eyes. He was sitting sideways on the couch; injured leg outstretched and resting on Jerick’s lap as the redhead sat with superglue and a bag of rhinestones, decorating his knee brace seeing as it was apparent going to be an omnipresent part of his outfit for the foreseeable future. To be fair, it was fucking hideous - ankle to thigh, and not exactly terribly stylish. If it was going to attract attention, at least now it was doing so for the right reasons. Ben had gotten home from the hospital at about three AM, and had been on the move since six; most of them running on limited sleep and a lot of alcohol. So far the outlook was good - dislocated knee and a little ligament damage, but not enough to put him out of action for more than the next brief stretch of the tour.

“Still - I’m proud of you, honey. Even if I did do it first.”

“Shut up, Thorgy.” Brian scoffed, draped over the breakfast bar in his underwear and that stupid fucking wolf shirt, trying to pour more champagne into his mimosa without spilling it everywhere as the bus jolted. 

“It was my idea, and I’m taking credit. Wheelchair burlesque needs to become a thing if it isn’t already.” Jerick looked incredibly pleased with themself, before turning to try and pick off the crystal they had inadvertently glued to their hand. 

“It probably is on deviantART.” Jay interjected.

“TMI.” Ben laughed, pulling a face.

“That looks fucking sick - can I decorate your crutches?” Jay grinned, nodding to the brace on Ben’s leg.

“I already shotgunned them, go fuck yourself.” Shane stuck his tongue out at the younger queen, tossing his dreadlocked ponytail over one shoulder. 

Ben laughed, smiling contentedly as he leaned back against Jerick; the other smiling as they rested their head on Ben’s shoulder, comfortable and content. Where the fuck would he be without Jerick, really? He was so unbelievably grateful for the help that the other queen had given the previous night when he’d felt like the universe was about to end. They smiled as Ben leaned against them, pulling him close. All was right with the world again.

Everything had turned out fine - sure, it hurt, and maybe it wasn’t ideal, but Dela wasn’t going anywhere any time soon, and that was all that really mattered to him. 


End file.
